


The Road to Better Days

by beautywithin16



Series: All My Life [2]
Category: Taggart (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Divorce, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jackie/Brian divorce, Michael is Alive, Slow Burn, eventual Michael/Jackie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautywithin16/pseuds/beautywithin16
Summary: Sequel to "The Darkest Days": Jackie's marriage to Brian continues to deteriorate. Thankfully, she doesn't have to face it alone.
Relationships: Brian Holmes/Jackie Reid, Michael Jardine/Jackie Reid, Mike Jardine/Jackie Reid
Series: All My Life [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779856
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s the sequel to “The Darkest Days”, my “Death Trap” AU fic. If you haven’t read it (and don’t want to), all you need to know was that Michael survived, but did get shot. The experience makes Jackie realise just how much he means to her.
> 
> Set a couple of months after the ending to “The Darkest Days”. This chapter has a couple of references to the episode “Fire Burn” (but obviously in an AU way as Michael’s still alive).
> 
> Thanks to Lady Dudley who came up with the title and allowed me to use it.

The clock reminded Jackie that she didn’t have to leave just yet.

Even though she wanted to.

She regarded Brian warily as he ate his breakfast. It was one of the rare mornings where they weren’t rushed off their feet. Now that he was spending a lot of his time in London, mornings together were rare.

Brian broke the silence, “If you have anything to say just say it.”

Jackie sighed, “When are you due back?”

“Friday, I’ll only be away for a few days,” he replied.

Jackie nodded, accepting his answer.

“Actually, while we’re both here. We should talk, we’ve been putting it off long enough,” he said.

She couldn’t deny that. To be honest, Jackie had hoped that there would be no need for this, that things would sort themselves out. But that hope was becoming increasingly futile.

Jackie nodded, indicating that he should start.

“You know what I’m going to say. Are you warming to the idea of moving to London?” he asked.

_Not really_ , thought Jackie. But she doubted that would go down well with Brian.

“This isn’t easy for me, Brian. And to be honest, you’re not making it any easier,” she admitted.

“Oh, don’t start this again,” groaned Brian.

“I was involved in a shooting, and you didn’t think it was important enough to see me,” she said with a hint of bitterness.

“I didn’t know you were the intended target at the time. Robbie had just said that Mike had been shot,” he said defensively.

“So, it’s only my physical wellbeing that concerns you, not my mental health?” she asked.

“That’s not fair,” said Brian, getting more exasperated by the second.

“What about the case I worked on with the bombs? You were very quick to get the plane back home, but only to get me off the case,” she reminded him.

“I thought I was doing what was best,” he said.

“No, you thought it would be easier for us to move to London,” her voice rose slightly. Jackie let out a breath to calm herself. This wouldn’t do any good, they had to sort something out. “You must understand, I have a life here. That’s going to be hard to give up,” she said in a softer tone.

Brian scoffed, “What life? You rarely see your family, when was the last time you actually spent time with them? The only people you regularly see are your team.”

“I love my job,” she said defensively. “I know things were a bit rough for a while, but it’s better now.”

Jackie hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be to get used to working under Burke. She had just missed Michael too much, even though she knew that Burke’s leadership would only be temporarily.

Still, she had managed to pull herself back up. It helped that she visited Michael as often as she could.

“You can’t blame Mike’s shooting for that. You’ve been seeing him most days so you can hardly miss him,” he said.

She took another breath, deciding to ignore Brian’s comment about Michael.

“I just need more time,” she said.

“Well, you don’t have a lot of time left,” he said firmly.

“Maybe not, but this is a big decision. Maybe the biggest one I’ll ever make.” She glanced at the clock, it told her that now she did need to leave, and she couldn’t help but feel relieved. “I’m sorry, but I do need to go now.” Jackie walked toward Brian and kissed his cheek, “See you on Friday.”

“I’ll call,” he promised.

Jackie gave a small nod before she left the flat. She went into her car and sighed, collecting her thoughts. She could really do without facing Burke today. Her gut feeling told her that it would be difficult to pretend that everything was fine.

But she had no choice, the last thing she wanted was to give Brian more reasons for them to leave Glasgow.

Did Brian not know her? For the umpteenth time, it seemed like he didn’t understand her. Jackie wanted their marriage to work, she really did, but why did he have to make things difficult?

Maybe she’d visit Michael if she had the time tonight. Jackie knew he was probably the last person she should seek out, but he was her friend and he seemed to be the only person that made things better. Something she desperately needed right now. Not that she’d really told Michael about what was going on at home, she wasn’t quite ready to admit it yet.

Jackie drove away and made her way to the station, hoping it would be a relatively quiet day.

Alas, no such luck.

Shortly after she arrived, a murder got called in. As a result, Jackie, along with the rest of the team, had been on their feet all day.

At some point in the afternoon, after arriving back at headquarters, she was surprised to see Michael. It only took a few seconds for him to notice Jackie, he smiled as he went over to her.

“So, what do we owe this pleasure?” she asked with a smile on her face.

“I just had an appointment to see if I’m fit enough to return,” he said.

“You never said,” she said.

Michael shrugged, “I suppose I didn’t want to mention it because of the possibility that they felt I wasn’t ready.”

“How did it go?” she asked, with a slight hopefulness to her voice.

“Well, they don’t want to hand your new case over. But they are satisfied that I’m fit for duty. So, when this case is wrapped up, I can come back,” he smiled.

“That’s great news, Michael!” she beamed.

“Listen, I’ve only just found out, so I wouldn’t mention it to anyone just yet,” he said.

“Of course. What are your plans for the rest of the day?” she asked.

“I’m just going back home, try and enjoy the quiet before I return,” he said.

Jackie resisted the urge to laugh. Michael had spent a great deal of the past two months fed up and bored. But she couldn’t blame him. This job was hectic, it’d be a long while before he’d have that kind of time to himself again.

“I can’t promise anything with this case, but If I have time I’ll drop by tonight,” she said.

“You don’t have to, I wouldn’t want to be a bother,” he said.

“You’re hardly that. Anyway, Brian’s away until Friday, so it gives me something to do,” she said.

“How are things between the two of you?” he asked, looking sympathetic.

“I suppose they could be better. Look, I better get a move on,” she said, not particularly wanting to discuss Brian, especially at the station.

“Of course,” he said.

“Hopefully, I’ll see you later,” she said.

“Sure,” he said just before she started walking away. “Take care,” he called out.

Jackie turned around, “Likewise,” she smiled, before she turned back and walked away.

Michael’s news had turned out to be motivating for Jackie, it gave her an extra reason to try and wrap the case up quickly.

Not that she minded Burke, she had started to get used to his ways. But she’d be lying to herself if she said she’d stopped missing Michael, despite seeing him most days.

When she left the station for the day, the killer hadn’t been caught, but they had gotten some leads and Jackie was content enough with how the day had gone. Most importantly, she had the knowledge that she had done her best. For now, that was enough.

She arrived at Michael’s with a takeaway, she’d called him beforehand to make sure he hadn’t eaten. Jackie felt her stomach rumble as she rang his doorbell.

“Hey,” Michael said, he smiled when he noticed the food.

“Hi,” she said before he let her in.

Jackie helped him with the food before they went to the living room to eat.

“So, how’s the case coming along?” he asked.

“I thought you’d be content to enjoy the peace and quiet,” she teased.

Michael sent her a mock glare, which quickly turned into a smile when she laughed.

“Not bad, I suppose. We haven’t got them yet, but we’ve got a few leads that make me hopeful that it won’t be long before they’re caught,” she said.

They talked a little more about the case before Michael decided to try his luck.

“So, are you okay about being on your own over the next few days?” he asked.

Jackie sighed; she’d had a feeling that he’d ask her about Brian.

“Honestly? I’m a little relieved that I don’t have to deal with Brian for a while,” she admitted.

Michael frowned, “Are things that bad?”

Jackie shrugged, “They’re certainly not great. Did I tell you about the time he wanted to remove me from a case?”

“He what?” he exclaimed, looking aghast.

“It was that case with the bombs. I had to diffuse one with Burke. When Brian found out he took the next flight here, wanted to fix it so I was away from the front line.” Jackie noticed the slight look of alarm on Michael’s face, but it quickly vanished.

Michael took a drink as he tried to remain calm. What the hell was Brian thinking? No wonder things looked bad between them. But the last thing Jackie needed was Michael’s anger about the situation. That would likely make things worse.

“Why didn’t you tell me at the time?” he asked gently.

“You had enough to deal with, I didn’t want to add to that,” she said.

The look on Michael’s face told her that he thought the idea was silly. She took a mouthful of her food, deciding not to tell Michael just yet about Brian’s proposition. She would at some point, but the little she had told him tonight had already taken a lot out of her and she just didn’t have the energy.

“Look, you’ve just got the all-clear to come back, we should be happy. So, for now, let’s just enjoy this meal, okay?” she sounded tired, and Michael could see that she just wanted to forget her troubles for tonight.

Michael nodded, accepting that they wouldn’t be discussing it further. He just wished he could make everything better for her.

* * *

The team had a briefing the next morning, it had all been routine until Burke cleared his throat.

“I’ve been told that Mike Jardine has been given the all-clear to take charge of this team again. So, this will be my last case with you before he comes back,” Burke announced.

The news was met with murmurs of approval. It hadn’t taken long for Burke to win the respect and acceptance of Maryhill, but people were happy about the prospect of Jardine coming back.

Robbie regarded Jackie throughout the announcement and noticed the lack of surprise at her reaction.

“You knew, didn’t you?” he asked when the briefing was over.

“Michael told me yesterday,” she confirmed, not bothering to hide the delight she felt.

She was always going to be happy about Michael’s return, no matter how much she had started to respect Burke.

Of course, it would be foolish to pretend that everything would go back to normal once he returned. It certainly wouldn’t fix her problems with Brian. In fact, if she wasn’t careful, things could be about to become more complicated.

Jackie had tried to forget about her admission in the hospital and she hadn’t quite succeeded. When she had admitted how she really felt about Michael.

But she really did want to work things out with Brian. As angry as he was making her right now, she cared for him. She might not be able to remember the last time they were happy, but he was her husband.

For better or worse.

This just wasn’t one of their better times.

Maybe moving to London would be easier. She could maybe, _finally,_ move on from her feelings from Michael.

But could she really start over? Moving to a city where she knew no one except Brian just seemed so overwhelming. Brian had a point though; she didn’t have much of a life.

But it was _hers_.

And she did have close relationships, it didn’t matter to her that some of those were with colleagues, and the thought of leaving some people behind saddened her.

The time to make a final decision on this was drawing near.

Jackie just hoped that she’d be able to make the right choice.


	2. Chapter 2

It was rare for Jackie to be up before Brian. But today was special, Michael returned to work today.

She happily made herself some breakfast and even managed a smile when Brian appeared.

“Morning,” she said.

“Morning,” he replied with a small smile.

Things weren’t quite as difficult between them. Brian seemed to accept that the decision over London wasn’t something she could quickly decide and was providing her the space to do so.

Jackie was grateful and as a result, things didn’t seem as tense. She could almost believe that things were okay.

_Almost_.

“Why don’t we do something tonight?” Brian suggested.

“I can’t,” she said apologetically. “It’s Michael’s first day back. I think we’ll probably have a sort of celebratory drink after work.”

Brian was sorely tempted to say that as Mike was teetotal, he’d hardly be bothered. Or that since Mike had already seen a lot of Jackie recently that it would be doubtful that he’d miss her. But Brian decided against it, the last thing he wanted was another argument.

And one involving Mike Jardine of all people.

Seeing the frown on Brian’s face, and wanting to try and meet him halfway, she suggested, “Look, how about tomorrow? I know it’s been a while since we had some proper time to ourselves. It’ll do us some good.”

“I’d like that,” he smiled.

Jackie smiled in return, before she went over to him, hugged him and kissed his cheek before they broke apart.

To Jackie’s pleasant surprise their conversation continued to go well, showing no signs of their strained relationship. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

Jackie left for work shortly after with a spring in her step, partly because of the nice start to her day, but also because she would now be working with Michael again.

She smiled when she saw Michael’s car in the car park, she knew he’d already be there. Michael usually was the first person to arrive at the station, probably not the best part of being a DCI she mused.

The bullpen was empty, but it wouldn’t be long before the others arrived. Jackie went to her desk, but only to put her jacket and bag away as she planned to make her way to Michael’s office.

She was just about to pass the kitchen area when she noticed someone, she looked into the room and smiled.

Michael was making some tea with his back to her. She stood at the door momentarily, the smile not leaving her face. It almost felt like the past couple of months had never happened.

“I see you’re settling back in,” she said.

He turned around and smiled, “Fancy some tea?”

“Thanks,” she said. Jackie walked towards Michael as he started to prepare another tea. “So, how does it feel to be back?” she asked after a moment.

“It might be best to ask me that later,” he said, happy to see her.

“Welcome back, Michael,” she smiled.

“Thanks,” he said before she hugged him.

They discussed some work matters briefly before they took their teas into the bullpen. It didn’t take too long for the others to arrive, and they were still in conversation when Stuart entered.

“It’s good to see you back, Sir!” Stuart smiled.

“Thanks, Stuart,” Michael said before Stuart went to his desk.

Robbie arrived moments later, not making his presence immediately known as he watched Michael, Jackie, and Stuart chat for a moment.

“Well, look who’s back,” Robbie said with a smirk.

Michael turned around, “Robbie.”

“I may regret saying this but it’s good to see you,” Robbie said.

Michael chuckled, “Thanks…I think.”

For the next while, Michael was met with similar comments and Jackie could tell how much it meant to him to hear them.

It turned out to be a quiet day, something that everyone was thankful for. Before Jackie knew it, she was on her way to Michael’s office at the end of their shift.

His door stated ‘DCI Jardine’ again, a small smile appeared on her face as she read it. Things might not be completely normal, maybe they never would be she admitted to herself, but this was a start.

Jackie knocked on the door.

“Yeah,” Michael called out a few seconds later.

Jackie entered his office and walked to his desk, “So, now how does it feel to be back?”

Michael smiled as he remembered his words from that morning. “Good. Though to be honest, that’s not saying much. Right now, anything seems better than being stuck at home almost 24/7.”

“Do you feel up to going for a drink with us?” she asked.

“Sure,” he replied before he switched off his computer and got his things.

It was a short journey to the pub and Jackie was the first to get a round in. As she waited for their drinks, she realised that she couldn’t remember the last time the four of them had been out together like this. She knew for sure it had been before Michael’s shooting.

Admittedly, some of that was down to her. Since she married Brian, she hadn’t gone out with them quite as much, though she still went often enough. But with a husband to go home to, she didn’t feel like going out for a drink with the others every evening.

But Jackie also realised that hadn’t changed when Brian joined the taskforce in London. Especially once Michael had been shot, her regular visits to him had become one of her main priorities. Which had probably made her marriage, which was already starting to feel strained, worse.

Though she had managed to go out with Robbie and Stuart since then. Their company was a nice distraction from the chaos that had erupted in her life.

Michael also hadn’t seemed to be going out for drinks with the team as much either. Though she suspected that he would only go to spend some time with her. Which wouldn’t be surprising, Michael and Robbie were hardly the type who would become best friends, they were just too different. However, things were better between them, and Robbie and Stuart had visited Michael frequently, both at the hospital and at his home.

Jackie watched the others with a fond smile on her face as the barman interrupted her thoughts while handing out the drinks. Jackie was determined to have fun tonight.

* * *

After a while, they all went to Michael’s with a takeaway. For Michael, it had been one of the more eventful evenings since getting shot and he found that he enjoyed himself.

The others had seemed to enjoy themselves too, until gradually, they had started to leave. Stuart had been the first to go, then Robbie left around 30 minutes later.

Which just left Michael and Jackie.

When Jackie confirmed that she wasn’t planning on leaving just yet he was glad, because maybe he could finally get to the bottom of what Jackie was dealing with.

Burke had manged to report him on the team and for the most part, Michael hadn’t been surprised at what he’d been told.

Except Burke’s comments regarding Jackie.

Apparently, it had taken a little while for her to accept Burke’s leadership, which was a little surprising.

However, that wasn’t what alarmed him. No, what was concerning was that Burke had been sure Jackie was dealing with something at home. At first, it had affected her work, but she had managed to get a handle on it.

Of course, he already knew that things weren’t great on the home front. But if someone who barely knew Jackie could pick up on it, that was worrying.

He wasn’t really concerned as her boss, but as her friend. All he wanted was for Jackie to be happy, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that she wasn’t.

“How’s things?” he asked from the couch.

“Okay,” Jackie replied. “Brian and I managed to have a pleasant morning,” she added.

Well, that sounded hopeful, maybe Michael didn’t need to be concerned.

“We even have plans for tomorrow night,” she continued.

It should have been satisfying for Michael, but something told him that Jackie was hiding something. And he wanted to find out what it was.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” he asked.

Jackie shrugged, “Like what?”

“Anything,” Michael replied with an all too innocent look on his face.

Which made Jackie suspicious as hell.

“I get the feeling there’s something you’re angling to know. What is it?” she asked.

“Are things really improving between you and Brian?” he asked.

“Well, you already know things haven’t been great. But today was nice, hopefully tomorrow will be too,” she answered.

“And there isn’t more to it than that?” he asked.

“Are you sure there’s something you don’t want to tell me?” she asked.

Michael looked caught out, confirming her suspicions. “I’m not sure I should be telling you this,” he admitted. “But I had a word with Burke. He made quite a few comments about you.”

“I see,” she said a little coldly. “Are you questioning my ability to do my job?”

“No,” he said, trying to reassure her. “Burke did comment on your performance, but he also said that the quality of your work improved. He thinks you’re a good officer.” Jackie gave a small nod, accepting his words. “But I am concerned, Jackie. I’m talking to you as a friend here, not your boss.”

Jackie sighed, knowing that the time had come to finally tell him about the choice Brian wanted her to make.

“Look, there is something you should know. But I don’t want the others to hear about this, okay?”

“You know I wouldn’t do that,” he said before Jackie nodded. “What is it?” he asked softly.

Jackie took a deep breath, “Brian wants us to move to London.”

In hindsight, Jackie’s news shouldn’t have been a shock, but it was. Michael wasn’t sure he could come up with an articulate response. However, Jackie looked like she didn’t have more to say and he could tell she wanted him to respond.

“Permanently?” he asked once he found his voice.

Jackie nodded, “Apparently, his career prospects are better over there.”

“And what about you? How do you feel about moving to London?” he asked.

“I’d rather we didn’t,” she confessed. “But Brian’s my husband, I owe it to him to at least entertain the possibility.”

Michael couldn’t disagree with that, as much as he was tempted to.

“What would you do?” he asked, a little lamely.

“I don’t think either of us have thought about it,” she admitted. “I think Brian’s too focused on what this would mean for his career to think about much else.”

Michael wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that, especially as Jackie looked so unhappy about the prospect.

“What happens if you decide to stay?” he asked after a moment.

“I don’t know. I’m sure that Brian believes that I’ll decide to go and that he won’t have to turn anything down,” she said.

Michael let out a breath, “Look, you’d be missed – by _everyone_. But whatever you decide, you have my support.”

“Thanks,” she said quietly.

Jackie almost looked like she wanted to cry, adding more pain to Michael’s heart. At a loss of anything to say, he got up from the couch and went over to her chair, motioned for her to get up and hugged her.

She broke away a moment later, “I better go.”

“Are you sure? We could talk for a while,” he offered.

Jackie shook her head, “I’m fine,” she lied, not wanting to betray her emotions. She got her jacket, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She went into the hall, but Michael called her as she was about to touch the front door handle. Jackie turned around, expectantly.

“If you do leave, I’m only a phone call away,” he said softly.

Jackie didn’t want to think about how depressing that sounded, she nodded her head a little shakily before she silently walked out of the flat.

As the front door closed, Michael leaned against the wall as he contemplated a life without Jackie Reid.

* * *

Neither Jackie, nor Michael had mentioned London the next day. Although, she had noticed that Michael had been keeping a watchful eye on her. In a way it was comforting, she knew the concern was one of a friend, not one of a boss who was worried about losing a subordinate.

When her shift ended, she was happy to leave. She had been looking forward to some alone time with Brian all day. They had decided on a quiet night in. Neither were in the mood to try for anything more. Their marriage was fragile, and they would need to take things one day at a time if it was going to survive.

Jackie was the first to return home and as she started to prepare their meal, she almost wished that they had decided on a takeaway instead. She had never been known for her culinary skills, and while she was quite capable of cooking a meal, her food would never be amazing. When Brian came home and helped her, she was thankful.

They had a nice romantic, candlelit dinner. It had reminded Jackie of the simpler times in their relationship. For a while, she pretended that things hadn’t changed, that there were no issues between them.

Once the dinner was over, they snuggled on the couch, both feeling content at how well the night seemed to be going. It wasn’t long before Brian started kissing her and they spent several long moments getting lost in each other.

“Just think, if we move to London, we could be doing this more often,” Brian said dreamily.

Suddenly, Jackie felt like someone had poured cold water over her. She sprang up, breaking contact from Brian.

“What is it?” asked Brian.

“Did you have to mention London?” her discomfort was obvious.

“Why not?” he asked.

“It would just be nice if we could go a night without thinking about it,” she said.

“Well, the issue’s not going to go away,” he said gently.

Jackie let out a breath, “I know, but you bringing up London like that isn’t going to make me want to move.”

“I just thought it would be helpful if I mentioned some benefits,” he said.

“You know, there’s one thing we haven’t really discussed,” she said after a moment.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“If we do move, what would I do?” she asked. Brian’s silence did nothing to make her feel better. “You don’t want me to work, do you?”

“It’s not that I don’t, it’s just that with the extra money, you wouldn’t need to,” he said.

“I see. So, let’s just forget that I have my own career that I care about, shall we?” she responded bitterly.

“Come on, Jackie. You’re not exactly going up the career ladder, are you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“Your last promotion was years ago. I’ve never heard you talk about wanting to become an inspector,” he said.

“Just because I’m content to be a sergeant for now, doesn’t make my career less important than yours,” she said before she got up from the couch.

“Let’s not fight Jackie,” he said.

An incredulous look crossed her face. “Look, I talked to Michael last night about London.”

Brian looked less than thrilled about that, “Why?”

“He’s my boss. He has a right to know that I might be leaving. Or did you expect me to not show up for work one day while we move to London?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he said with exasperation. “I just don’t want Mike Jardine knowing about our problems.”

“So, even though I’m struggling with this, you don’t want me to talk to my best friend about it?” she asked.

“Not, Mike, no. Or anyone else on your team,” he said.

“Why not?” she asked with confusion on her face.

“Naturally, they’d want you to stay, so they’d hardly be impartial,” he explained.

“Oh, grow up, Brian!” she said harshly before her mobile rang.

Jackie picked up her phone from the table, the screen told her that it was from Michael. He knew of her plans, so she assumed that it was serious.

Jackie knew as soon as she accepted the call that she was right.

“Sorry Jackie, but a body’s been found,” Michael said apologetically.

“It’s fine,” she said without any emotion. “Where is it?” Michael informed her of the details before she replied, “I’m on my way.” Jackie ended the call and looked to Brian, “I have to go.”

Brian nodded, “Of course.”

“Don’t wait up,” she said.

“I’ll see you,” he said a little coldly.

“Right,” Jackie said before she got her things and left.

This was not how she had imagined their night. But as she got into her car, she realised that she would rather investigate a death if the alternative meant staying home and arguing with her husband.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a difficult case and Michael was glad that it was solved. What he _wasn’t_ happy about, was having to complete the paperwork and he found his mind wandering. The case had distracted him from Jackie’s news, but now sitting in his office, he couldn’t help but think about it.

Michael had checked on her a couple of times, but she had insisted that she was fine. What had bothered him though, was when Jackie had admitted that Brian didn’t want her to talk about London with him, or the others. Meaning she was faced with the prospect of facing this decision alone.

Michael sighed, this was why he couldn’t think about it too much, because when he did it riled him up.

He thought back to Jackie’s wedding and all the feelings that he’d pushed to the side, the words left unsaid, there was so much he could have told her but he had missed his chance.

At the time, he had consoled himself with the knowledge that Jackie was happy. And at least, she would always be in his life. But that might no longer be the case. The one constant in his life for the past 12 years could be leaving him.

The thought should not be as devastating as it sounded.

But, if she _did_ decide to leave, he’d be the first to support her. He would miss her, more than he could ever possibly say, but if she was happy then he wouldn’t complain. Her happiness was all that mattered.

Eventually, he was able to get his focus back, but it didn’t last long as a call came through informing him that Brian wanted to see him. Now that, was very odd, it was rare for them to talk without Jackie present. Michael braced himself, his instinct telling him that he wasn’t going to like Brian’s reason for coming.

Brian appeared in his office a moment later, Michael inspected him carefully, seeing no signs of unhappiness, or anger.

_Good,_ Michael thought. Maybe his gut instinct was wrong.

“Hey, Mike,” Brian said.

“Hi,” Michael smiled politely. “Jackie’s out if you were hoping to catch her-“

“No, it’s you I wanted to see,” Brian said as Michael indicated for him to take a seat.

“What is it?” Michael asked after Brian sat down.

“How’s Jackie?” asked Brian.

“She’s fine,” Michael replied warily.

“She’s handling things well then?” Brian asked before Michael nodded. “You don’t think this is all too much for her?”

“No, I don’t,” Michael replied. “Why?”

“I was wondering…” Brian looked slightly uncomfortable, “if you’d consider restricting Jackie’s duties a bit?”

Michael was shocked, “Why would I want to do that?”

“I know Jackie’s told you about London,” Brian said.

“She did,” Michael confirmed. “She also mentioned that you didn’t want her to discuss it any further with anyone from the team.” At least Brian had the grace to look guilty. “A bit unfair, isn’t it?”

“I just think things would be better if Jackie agrees to move to London,” Brian said.

“And you think going behind her back is the way to do that?” Michael asked incredulously.

“It might help.”

Michael tried to hide his disgust, “If Jackie decides to leave, we’ll all miss her. But we’ll back her decision, whatever she chooses. So no, I won’t do your bidding.”

“I see,” Brian said coldly.

“I’ve worked with Jackie for a long time. She’s a great asset to my team and one that would be hard to replace. And it’s not just me that thinks that. If you ask anyone in this station, they’ll tell you the same. But if there comes a time when I do question her abilities, I’ll talk to _her_ about it, not you. Understood?”

Brian nodded.

“Good, now unless you have something to bring to my attention in an official capacity, I suggest you leave,” Michael said with forced calmness.

Brian got up and went to the door.

“Oh, and Brian?” Brian turned around to face Michael, “Because Jackie’s a friend and I don’t want to interfere, I won’t tell her about this…for now. But if I hear that you’ve pulled a stunt like this again, or you make Jackie unhappy I won’t hesitate to tell her. Okay?” Michael’s voice had a slightly dangerous edge to it and Brian realised just how deep Michael’s loyalty to Jackie ran.

Brian gave a small nod before he went back to the door, he gripped the handle tightly before he left, resisting the urge to slam the door.

* * *

Jackie and Stuart had just come back from lunch, but any good feelings she had vanished when Robbie spoke to her.

“You’ve missed Brian,” he said.

“What?” she asked looking surprised.

“He was in Mike’s office, looked pissed when he left.”

“Bugger,” whispered Jackie. “Is Michael still in his office?”

Robbie shook his head, “He left the station about 10 minutes ago, said he’d be away for a while but to phone him if something came up.”

Jackie got her mobile out and looked through her contacts. She paused briefly at Brian’s name; she’d deal with him later at home, she decided. When she reached Michael, she pressed the button to call him and was disappointed when he didn’t answer. She thought about trying again, but thought better of it, she had a horrible feeling that Michael didn’t want to talk to her.

“Everything alright, Jackie?” Robbie asked.

“I’m fine,” she smiled. “Best get back to work,” she said before looking at the files on her desk.

Robbie wasn’t totally convinced but let it go, something was bothering her, but she clearly wasn’t going to share it with him.

The chance to talk to Michael never came, he eventually returned to the station but at the precise moment at Jackie was absent from the bullpen. When she went back to her desk she was updated by Robbie, informing her that Michael was back, and didn’t want to be disturbed. A while later, she went home and time seemed to go even slower as she waited for Brian to return.

The front door broke the silence and Brian walked into the living room a moment later, sensing the frosty atmosphere.

“Everything alright?” he asked warily.

Jackie shrugged, “You tell me.” Brian didn’t reply but joined her on the couch. “I spoke to Robbie today; said he’d seen you at the station.”

“I was there briefly,” he admitted.

“I’d say I was sorry to have missed you, except that I got the impression you weren’t there to see me.”

Brian shook his head, “I went to see Mike.”

“Why?”

“I thought I’d see how you were doing,” he said.

“Well, that’s kind of you Brian, but you can always ask me that yourself,” she said, unable to keep the coldness from her voice.

“I know, I just thought I’d see how you were handling things at work,” he said.

“And you couldn’t ask me?” she asked. “So, what happened?”

At his look of confusion, she continued, “Robbie told me that Michael left not long after you. I haven’t been able to talk to him since. Did you say something to upset him?”

“He didn’t think it was appropriate to tell me how you were,” he answered.

“Uh-huh,” she said, not impressed. “And that’s all that happened?”

Brian nodded, “Maybe Mike had an engagement?”

Jackie doubted that, she usually knew when Michael had an appointment and it wouldn’t explain him not wanting to be disturbed. As she looked at Brian, she sensed that she was right.

“Then why do I have a feeling you’re keeping something back?” she asked.

A flicker of doubt crossed his face, it was gone in an instant, but Jackie had still noticed it.

“Well?” she prompted.

The silence she received was not reassuring. “If you don’t tell me, I’m just going to go to Michael and force it out of him.”

“I don’t think you’ll get far.”

“Why?” she asked with slight apprehension.

“He doesn’t want to get involved,” Brian replied.

“Of course he doesn’t.”

Jackie knew Michael too well; he wouldn’t want to get involved beyond being a supportive friend. He would hate to be seen as interfering in her business.

“But thanks to you,” she continued, “he kind of is involved now.”

“I think you did that by telling him about London,” he said with a touch of bitterness.

“He’s my friend and boss. You know, I’d really appreciate it if you weren’t so sour about me talking to my friends.”

“It wouldn’t be so bad if those friends weren’t also your colleagues.”

_At least I know they have my back_ , a thought that Jackie only managed to stop herself from voicing.

“So, what really happened Brian?”

The silence lingered, telling her that her instincts had been right.

She sighed, “If you have any love and respect for me, then please tell me.”

“Okay.” He took a breath, “I asked Mike if he’d consider restricting your duties.”

Shock and anger crossed her face, “Oh, I can’t believe I’m hearing this!” she exclaimed as she got up from the couch, needing the extra distance between them. “Do I need to ask why?”

“I know I shouldn’t have, but I’m just so tired of all this.”

“That’s not an excuse,” she bit out.

Brian sighed, “I know.”

“So, what did Michael say?”

Brian gave a brief recount of what Michael had said, none of which surprised Jackie, but she still felt a warmth to know that Michael, in his own way, had her back. Something that Brian didn’t seem to have and as she looked at him, she realised that she wasn’t sure he ever would. At least, not in the way she wanted.

She inwardly winced as she compared Brian and Michael, but she couldn’t help it. Michael was trying to support her and wanted what was best for her. While her husband seemed to only care about his wants and needs.

“Jackie?” Brian’s voice momentarily brought Jackie back to the present.

She didn’t respond as she continued to look at Brian as several realisations hit her, leaving her with only one option.

“I think…if you really want to go to London, then you should go,” she said finally.

Brian beamed, but his smile faltered as the implications set in. “Just me?”

Jackie nodded, “I wouldn’t be happy Brian and I think I’d end up resenting you for the move.” Brian opened his mouth to respond but Jackie cut him off, “And even if you did decide to stay, didn’t regret it, focused less on work, I don’t think it would be enough.”

She sighed, “Every time we face a hurdle, it becomes harder for us to bounce back. And as much as I’ve tried, I don’t think my feelings for you are strong enough to keep on fighting.”

“I see,” his eyes hardened. “How long have you felt like this?”

“A while,” she admitted. “I did want this to work, I do love you.”

“Not enough it seems.” Her silence and the guilty look on her face confirmed this, telling him that things really wouldn’t work out. “Right, well, you better get some things together.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“It’s going to take a little while to organise this move and I really don’t want to live with you now. So, I suggest you pack some things and leave.”

“It’s getting late. Where will I go?”

“Why don’t you ask one of your colleagues?” he suggested bitterly.

“But-“

“I don’t care!” he snapped. “I’ve just found out you don’t love me enough for this marriage to continue! Do you really think I want to be around you?”

At the slight surprise on her face, he took a breath, forcing himself to calm down. “Just go, before I say or do something I regret.”

Jackie nodded before she went to their bedroom to pack, hoping she wouldn’t miss something she might need. When she left the flat, she kept her emotions in check, mindful that Brian was watching from the window. As she entered the car, she pondered on who to turn to. Going to Michael would make the most sense, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to face him.

She had briefly thought about going to Robbie or Stuart, but she didn’t want to go into how bad things had gotten. They could tell that things weren’t great, but neither thought her marriage had been at a breaking point. There were always her brothers, but they had their own lives. Their own families. There wouldn’t be much space for her (if any). More importantly, she wasn’t sure she could face the disappointment from them. They had always thought she’d been too focused on her career.

No, Michael it would have to be, he would have no problems with letting her stay in his spare room for a while. She found herself almost craving his support. When she reached his flat, she was dismayed to find that he was out. She could always let herself in, but it didn’t feel right, not in this situation.

As she went back to her car, all her feelings unravelled as she wept. After what felt like a long amount of time (but wasn’t) Jackie sagged against the steering wheel. Her deep ragged breaths being the only sound to keep her company.

* * *

Michael had worked into the evening for longer than he had wanted to. It was his own fault; he shouldn’t have spent so long at Jim Taggart’s grave. But after the encounter with Brian, he had been so wound up that it felt like the only place to turn to. He couldn’t say that he felt better for the visit, but it had made him calmer.

He had felt guilty for ignoring Jackie’s call, there was no way she didn’t know about Brian’s visit and, if he had thought things through, he might have told Robbie not to tell her. Too late now. Michael had been grateful that Jackie had been out of sight when he returned to the station, and even more grateful when she heeded the warning not to be interrupted.

Now that he was on his way home, maybe he could finally relax. But that hope diminished as soon as he spotted Jackie’s car on his street. His heart sank as he registered Jackie’s sunken form against the steering wheel.

He knocked on her window startling her before she rolled the window down.

“What happened?” he asked.

“It’s over,” she replied, her voice was drained of all emotion.

“Oh God, Jackie, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, “It’s okay. But I need a place to stay for a while.”

“You can stay here as long as you need, you know that.”

“Thanks,” she said before she rolled the window back up and got out of the car.

Michael followed her to the boot as she got her things. “Why didn’t you let yourself in?”

She shrugged, “I didn’t want to turn up uninvited.”

He almost told her not to be silly, but that was probably not something she’d want to hear at this time. “I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

“I’m not sure, to be honest.”

Michael didn’t need to guess what she’d been up to while she waited. Her red puffy eyes were a dead giveaway. He should have gotten here sooner; the paperwork was nowhere near as important as Jackie’s wellbeing.

“How about I make you some hot chocolate, eh?” he asked her after she closed the boot.

“I’d like that,” she said, managing a small smile.

Once the hot chocolates were made Jackie filled him in on what had happened. He could tell that she was keeping something back but he didn’t press her, tonight must have been draining enough for her.

At some point, the tears returned and Michael held her, providing her with some much-needed comfort. After a while she drifted off to sleep, feeling safe for the first time in ages.

He watched her for a few moments, putting off the inevitable moment where he’d have to let go of her without waking her. Somehow, he managed it before retrieving a quilt cover and gently placing a pillow under her head.

“Sweet dreams, Jackie,” he whispered before the switched the light off and left the living room.


End file.
